I saw god on the cover of a socialite magazine
Heard the news on the tv while I was half-inside some lonesome dream

All the heroes bailed
Said they’re tired, we never learn
So let your dark side win
And give in, and give in

It’s not what I really need
But I sure do love the release
You blame the soil and the sun
But in your pockets, fondle seeds

I saw god drive by in a 30-foot limousine
He was on his way uptown, half-inside some lonesome dream

I watched the sun rise in the desert and settle in the sea
And I didn’t feel a thing
I didn’t feel a thing

I rode a horse into the mountain pass
That melted with the morning frost
And as my web caught fire
I didn’t feel a thing

I tried to feel your misery in my chest
But you know, I think I feel it best

I watched the sun rise in the desert and settle in the sea
And I didn’t feel a thing
I didn’t feel a thing

Gaslight

While the world has sex in the back of a limousine
I’m standing on a bluff in the park counting one, two, three

She was looking out the window just like she was watching TV
She said ‘I love you so much but it doesn’t mean shit to me’

Life’s cheap sex to a greater or a lesser degree
And I’ve been thinking to myself that it just might not be my scene

She was looking at me just like I was on a screen
She said ‘I love you too baby, but it doesn’t mean a thing to me’

Pretty little satellite.

Nobody told her last little lie
As she choked on black words, I started to cry
My little girl used her last alibi
And as she started to wonder, I started to try

My little death wish, wedding bells, mesmerizing serpentine
Baby breath, fortunate, you’d gladly be the death of me

My tiny sugar pill, mistress, pretty little satellite
I think I’ve never loved you more, your aging skin, holding food in the sunlight

Nobody ever taught me to fly
As I chased after birds, she started to cry
Yes, my only one told her last little lie
And as I started to wonder, predictable, she started to cry

I made another lyric video for my song egodeath. sharing is caring  <3

<3 

demo of a new song, cheggit <3

I only really notice it when I go on walks alone, up into the park and then into the canyon. As the cars and the people and all the automatic mouths get quieter and quieter, it starts up as a humming sound, sort of static-electric, like the feeling you get when you think you’re next to a big magnetic field or something. And then dulls into what almost sounds like my head is inside a submarine. The frequencies of the world seem to slow, and people’s passing words sound like fish pecking their heads against the now fully formed vessel that surrounds my head. Who stares in a place like the park? Whatever. On these walks up the canyon, it’s almost a grab-off for sanity. Probably the same feeling you get right before a panic attack- but a bit more exciting. ‘Ok, oh shit, what do I know? Do I know anything? Look at that rock you idiot, you know what that is don’t you? I’ve got to find something to know before this whole damn thing consumes me and I don’t know anything and I get swallowed up by this gigantic nothing’ and then- almost like its programmed, before it all gets to be too much and too violent and it feels like it’s about to blow, like the generator is about to shake itself out of it’s concrete foundation- it subsides and there I am. An embarrassing spectacle. Who’s controlling it’s breathing? Staring into a dry creek bed, eyes wide. Something tells me to be careful- like the  fuckin trees or the chipmunks might have a negative judgement of me and tell their friends. Anyways, it’s like it never happened. That’s the odd part. A sick joke someone is having a great time with, maybe. I think it’s when I feel the least strange- when I can laugh at his twisted sense of humor. It’s really quite a good joke!  Ya, that’s when I really notice it, even though it’s always there. That i’m not like you. That I’m different. That I’m not really like anything here- and I don’t care how gaudy it sounds because I’m too fucking homesick to be humble anymore.  In fact, it’s the only time I really like myself at all, when I realize I’m not like you. When, in this brief moment of clarity- I realize I would never hurt something helpless. That I would never make a fool of a friend. That I would never watch something die that never had the chance to live. That I am good. And that I deserve to live. Because I’m not like you- and I’m not afraid of you anymore.